Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thoughts on the Royal Wedding of Prince William and his beautiful commoner Kate Middleton

by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

After 8 years of dating, canoodling, breaking up, making up, breaking up the on-again-off-again relationship of Prince William of Wales and long tressed Kate is officially on.

The airwaves of the planet dutiful report the expected congratulations. Her Majesty and Prince Philip are "absolutely delighted for them both". Prince Charles is "thrilled". And no doubt they are, for it's time for the next generation of royals to get on with their important work. There is much to do.

Amongst the royals monarchy is referred to as "the firm"; they say they "live above the shop." Exactly so. It's time for the next proprietor and his spouse to start doing what they're supposed to do:

bring Britain together.

help the tribe of those battening on the monarchy sell their trinkets and reap their profits.

provide us promptly with an equally photogenic man child ... and then promptly, another. "The heir... and the spare."

And above all else do what's necessary for an endless stream of gossip, titillation and, best of all, scandal.

Yes, this handsome couple has much to do... and has already begun to do it.

Hidden Winners and Losers

The game of monarchy is a game of musical chairs, or more accurately, chair. For there is just one chair, the throne of England; one's place in the pecking order is determined by one's relationship to this throne.

As all perspicacious royal watchers have known for years, the fate of a thousand year old institution was planted squarely at the feet of just one person, Prince William Arthur Philip Louis of Wales. He was, almost from the moment of conception, the white hope of a family which had lost its glamour, its allure... and it's way.

Father Prince Charles... a not so gay divorcee with the tendency for odd, awkward remarks and organic vegetables. His cynical marriage to a woman he didn't love whilst carrying on with the woman he did set the stage for the long, painful , glaringly public fall from grace.

Uncle Prince Andrew of York, a once beguiling, handsome tease of a younger brother who married a trollop and lived to pay the price, now disillusioned and fat to boot.

Aunt Princess Ann, Princess Royal who chose the handsomest man on the block to marry... only to discover, in the divorce courts, that a marriage needs more than a shared interest in making quadrupeds jump a fence.

This supremely privileged crew despite every advantage managed to accrue between them not one notable achievement, although they have (it's true) kept the scurrilous tabloids of England over busy with talk of their high and (abysmally) low jinks.

These shop worn royals, their sometime lovers and spouses, have all had their day. Now they will all be regally pushed off the stage by the handsomest couple on earth. That is Job 1, and that couple is at it now.

Managing the Ghost

In the best tradition of royal tales, there is a ghost at this feast, an insistent ghost, the groom's turbulent mother, Princess Diana. Now her unsettled spirit can be well and truly laid to rest, with love and honor, her sons will see to it.

Diana alive was a nightmare for the Windsors. What would she do? What inappropriate man would gain her heart... then sell it to the tabloids in the shabbiest most cynical way? They cringed daily wondering when the other slipper would drop for this out-of-control Cinderella.

Her death, of course, too soon, was tragic. But it was also a huge relief. Now they can safety lay this ghost to honored rest. This healing process began when Wills gave and Kate displayed Diana's engagement ring on her finger.

Royal hustlers

What do royals do? They put a regal face on the real business of Britain: selling. Britain grants these folks an anachronistic lifestyle of unparalleled munificence; the catch is they must earn it by hustling things British. In Kate, they have found the perfect corporate wife. She is stunningly attractive, bright, educated, savvy, and (above all else) agreeable to being shaped into the winning marketer the dynasty requires. The cost for maintaining her in the style to which she'll soon be accustomed is frankly a pittance compared to the tangible financial benefits to be reaped.

Her marriage alone will pump an extra billion or two into the fragile British economy. Well might the Cabinet shout "hear, hear" upon learning the news. The combination of Wills and Kate is a fantastic money machine that no mere president can ever rival.

Intrusive questions we will soon have answered

So far the questions the newly affianced royal couple have been asked have been polite, cordial, asking for little, eliciting less. But all this is about to change. Both Wills and Kate have a price on their heads, and this price (with the showing of the haunted engagement ring) has escalated radically.

This is now the situation. This regal couple have friends, pals, classmates, acquaintances, servants and retainers, any one of whom might know the answers to questions the world is impatient to know:

when how how often where in what way.

These folks are only human. They have bills. They need money. And so, soon, the betrayals will begin, media mogul Rupert Murdoch, fueled by his persistent dynastic hatred and disdain, will see to that.

These people even now, Judas-like, are mulling over their options: should they betray and prosper? Or let the opportunity of a lifetime pass them by. It's drama in the grand tradition. And it is sure to come.

Thus, with the brilliant ring given, the opening phase of this deeply fascinating story begins. We shall not have to wait very long for the next chapter to develop, even so we are acutely impatient to have it.
About The Author

Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Dr. Lant is the author of 18 books and the book, 'Insubstantial Pageant: Ceremony and Confusion at Queen Victoria's Court' was the result of being the first American to gain access to the Royal Archives at Windsor Castle.                                                                                      
Republished with author's permission by Maurice Charles
I hope that Prince William and his beautiful commoner Kate Middleton have long happy life together. I think the British people will look forward to getting this money making machine.

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